Why I Have Trust Issues With My Mirror
Let me set the scene for you. It is finals week, I haven’t taken a proper shower in, god knows how long, and I have lugging a backpack full of textbooks that I haven’t opened all semester for a class that I was going to drop after the midterm but never did. TIME. TO. CRAM. Admittedly this is not my best hour health-wise, but this is still student-athlete Rusty so I a bit overweight but very muscular. I pass the student center and glance at my reflection the dark, black glass windows. My backpack protrudes out like a turtle shell and my gut looks like Winnie the Pooh. I lean over to try to see my stomach in real time but the POV messes everything up.
The concept of a skinny mirror infuriates me. It’s like the friend that tells you your outfit looks good, when you look like a drag queen. And in a world full of fake smiles, fake news, and fake friends, couldn’t we all use a little truth?
In one’s weight loss journey, it can be hard to measure progress. Did I lose actual weight or water weight? Are my clothes looser or just stretched out? Do I look skinnier, or is my mirror literal trash. Even the scale can’t be trusted because muscle weighs more than fat. In any case, if you are feeling anxious about your progress try to focus on what I like to call “active” accomplishments. Instead of focusing on how you look in the mirror or on the scale, try to beat your time for your mile or go up in reps in your circuit or even go a set amount of days without taking a cheat day. The aesthetic results will come. Even a fat mirror cannot deny that.
I care about my health, I really do, but unlike many other fitness bloggers out there I want to keep it totally 100 with my readers. I want to look good naked.
There is a line in the G-Eazy & Halsey hit song “Him & I” that goes:
“YSL dress under when she takes the mink off,
Silk on her body, pull it down and watch it slip off.”
There is a point of revealing during a sexual encounter that is shown over and over in movies, TV shows, and pop songs where the woman exposes herself and is adored. For one, I’m not certain, any dress I owned would pool to my ankles as effortlessly as it does in the does in the movies. It would probably get stuck around my hips and I would have to do that shimmy thing to get it off. Also, here’s a question that no one ever asks: when is the appropriate time to take my Spanx off? Do I take it off before the big moment and tuck it away behind the toilet? Do I wait and expose the off color, beige-y yellow tights that have the uneven hole ripped in the crotch so I can use the restroom without disrobing? I NEED ANSWERS PEOPLE.
Issa Rae, who is killing it on her HBO show Insecure and looks amazing, admitted on live television that when she realized that SHE would be acting in those sex scenes that she had written into the script, she lost the weight. Her bluntness was so relatable and refreshing. While working out for health or inner well being is so important, sometimes its stunting on an ex that gives someone the kick in the butt that they need to adopt a healthier lifestyle. During this journey, I reach for motivation from all sorts of places. But as a 23 year old, when I feel like ordering Dominos, I think of dropping that Givenchy and being SNATCHED by the Gods in all my glory.